I am still alive!!!!!

I know it has been a stupidly long time since I wrote on here (Unbelievably almost two month) but I thought I would show my face. And yes, I am still alive.

Soooo, Life in the past few months….. Its been long and hard to say the least but were getting through.

The good points….. Had an awesome holiday with the Mrs. We went to the states to see my family for a few weeks. It was amazing catching up with them. I haven’t been over in two years so naturally two weeks wasn’t long enough to spread my self between the whole family and not overwhelm the Mrs. She is rather shy and my family is quite big and spread all over Florida so we couldn’t quite fit all of them in but the ones we did see were absolutely amazing. I just wish the law would bloody hurry up and change so we can move out there. But well, that rant is for another time. My parents had moved to a different part of the state since we last visited so we had great fun exploring that. Ate wayyyy too much. Drank a little too much but hey, that’s what holidays are for. I am going back in November because the wife and I spoke and we both feel I need better more regular physical contact with the family. Non of us are getting any younger and there’s only so much you can say over Facebook, emails and the phone,so if its within our means to get over there were going to do it. Although my lovely wont be going with me in November I an quite looking forward to it. Ill only be going for about 8 days over Thanksgiving and my dads birthday but it will be the longest my wife and I have been apart since we got together 8 years ago and thats slightly daunting but I’m sure it will be fine. Ill miss her like crazy but we’ll be fine and really appreciate the few days off we’ll have together when I get back.

While we were away the mother in law decorated our flat for us which I thought was such a sweet and amazing thing to do. We had all ready bought all the paint and wallpaper etc months before and she offered to do it for us while we were away. Now I can put my hand to most things and it turns out OK but wall papering that’s a whole different ball game. Its just one thing around the house I absolutely can not do. And I didn’t really want to try and to it just to cock it up. I have managed to cock up lining paper before. Don’t ask me how but well I did. We were just going to get her round for a few days to help me do the wall paper side of things but she insisted on doing it while we were away and it looks absolutely amazing. We are so grateful to her for doing it.

Since I last updated we have had a new member to the household. The wife broke me down until I gave in and let her get a cat. So we now have a little 10 week old black and white, lean, mean scratching machine called Tux. Shhhhh don’t tell the wife but he is my gorgeous little buddy.

 

On not so brilliant news, still no BFP. Well it would be a miracle if we were as we haven’t tried in the last few months. We didn’t really like the idea of the wife flying long haul in the first trimester. We had a silent miscarriage 10 months ago. While she was pregnant last time we flew to the Maldives for our honey moon and discovered we had lost the baby not long after that. Were probably being over cautious but didn’t want to take any risks. But since I last blogged we have been referred by our GP to a consultant at the hospital. We had the first appointment last week. And well its still a waiting game. Basically there not entirely sure she is ovulating properly, (which wev figured out ourselves she isn’t). They gave he a chlamydia test because my wife is such a hoe. (Slight bit of sarcasm there). Its all routine though im assured and the next test in line. I cant remember exactly what its called but I know it has ping on the end of the name. Which I should know as I deal with the procedure instruments occasionally at work. More on that later. But basically they’ll insert a dye into her and X-Ray to see if her fallopian tubes are blocked. We defiantly know she had PCOS. Now the consultant said if the tubes are not blocked we can get Chlomid prescribed on the NHS. If they are blocked then the only way she is going to fall pregnant is with IVF. Which would have to be funded out of our own pockets, and I don’t know how were going to be able to cover that. Were not exactly broke but we don’t have that much of an income that wev got money laying around. We do still have to account for most things. The consultant is looking into weather we would get funded or not but it doesn’t seem likely. I even said to her, seeing as we have our own donor which would be willing to donate at a clinic, We have my wife with a proven fertility issue would we still not get funded and purely because my wife and I are married we would not qualify. Your going to have to put up with a rant here. I know a heterosexual couple that had a fretility issue with the male side. Now I can understand people wanting children and I think the NHS is amazing for making it happen for some people but in this case he had no sperm count because he was an ex heroin user. Now dont get me wrong. I am not bitter because they funded an ex user. I am angry because as lesbians, we have to want to have a baby to be able to have one. We cant just get pregnant by accident after a few too many vino’s one night, or even genuinely try like straight couples have the luxury of being able to try. Now he wanted a baby, so they helped him out and ultimately it was his own fault he has no sperm count. Now I cant help that I have no sperm count because I am a woman. The baby my wife and I would have would be just as much loved as a heterosexual couples baby so I don’t see why gender of both parties comes into it. We have sperm available and we have an oven so all they would have to do it put stuff where it needs to be and hopefully bobs your uncle. Any way rant over. I dont mean to sound rude or bitter by any of that. I just think the whole system is screwed up.

We just have to wait for the dreaded period to turn up and within 10 days of that have this procedure done. Then we will know where we go from there. I have come to realise with the whole baby making precess. It is one giant wait. Were constantly waiting for something. Ovulation, 2WW, periods, Doctors, Procedures, Drugs, Information, Help. And when we do fall pregnant its even more waiting. Scans, Kicks, Getting through sickness and mood swings, Midwives and ultimately the birth.  Oh its all good fun lol.

If you are trying for a baby and looking for a folic acid I do recommend Seven Seas trying for a baby. There about £4.50 for a four week supply. And I know you can pick them up from Sainsburrys. On the box it says with folic acid and iron and vitamin D. Helps regulate hormone activity, Supports fertility and reproduction and supports healthy development once you have conceived. I know there probably slightly pricey compared to other prenatal vitamins you can get but I picked them up for the wife as it said regulates hormone activity on the box. I did think I was probably being sucked in by it but since we lost our baby 10 months ago we know my wife is not ovulating properly. She always used to suffer with sore breasts just before her period which she hasn’t felt since we lost the baby. She has been on these for a few weeks now and low and behold she has sore breasts. Normally this isn’t something to be happy about but something is going on so we just have to be positive and I know it may all just be coincidental but we are happy she has sore boobs 🙂

Well Iv probably bored you all to tears by now so I shall leave it here. I will try and not leave it so long before I write again. I cant promise anything though 😉

Stay safe and hold your loved ones close.

Until next time

XOX

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